Another Bright Idea Department
by ann.unemori
Summary: Big Bird has a great idea, but his friends are less than enthusiastic over it. Just some nonsense based on a forgotten episode.


Another Bright Idea Dept:

Big Bird is talking to his friends Gordon, Susan, Maria, Bob, and Mr. Hooper on Sesame Street; next to him is a rather large faucet and an equally large drain with a plug in it.

Big Bird: Wow, water sure can do a lot of things! Boy am I glad you taught me about how water cleans our clothes and our dishes and how we drink it and… (ding!) I just had an idea!

Mr. Hooper: (groaning) Oh no, not another one of your great ideas.

Big Bird: (excited) No, this one is better than great! What if I – fill Sesame Street up with water right up to the rooftops?! That way we'll always have enough water for everything! I can just turn on this conveniently placed water faucet right next to me here, and in no time we'll have all the water we could ever want!

Gordon: Big Bird, do you remember what happened the last time you had one of your brilliant ideas?

Susan: You know, the one last winter where you set everything on Sesame Street on fire just to keep us from freezing?

Big Bird: Oh…oh yeah.

Maria: And do you remember how long it took to clean everything up?

Big Bird: Yeah… yeah, I guess that didn't work out very well, did it.

Bob: So this time, could you just _imagine _what would happen if you fill Sesame Street up with water? At least long enough to save a lot of time and trouble?

Big Bird: (thinks a minute) Okay, I can do that! I'll just _imagine_ what's going to happen when Sesame Street is full of water right up to the rooftops! (chuckles) This is going to be so great!

(Harp music, as everything starts to waver, and Big Bird's human friends fade out. When it ends, Big Bird turns on the faucet, squeak-squeak-squeak, and water starts flooding the street.)

Big Bird: (watching the water slowly rising) This is going to be the best thing ever, we'll have water everywhere! That means we can wash our clothes whenever we want to, and we can wash our dishes whenever we want to, and we can take a bath whenever we want to, because there's going to be plenty of water all the time! It'll be _everywhere!_ (Water keeps rising) Oh boy, this will mean we can go swimming anytime we want, and we can go fishing anytime we want, because all the water is just going to be right outside! And if we want a glass of water we can just open our mouths because the water will be right there! This is just so great! (The water's up to Big Bird's waist by now) Hmm, this water's starting to get a bit high. Well, it's a good thing I'm so tall! Boy, I just can't wait! We're going to be able to wash our clothes all the time, and our dishes all the time, and we can go swimming any time we want to! (glances at the water) Heh-heh, guess I better learn to swim! But we won't have to worry about getting a drink of water, or having to water our plants anymore because the water will be right there, all the time! This is going to be my best idea yet! (by now the water is up to Big Bird's neck) Uh-oh, looks like this water is starting to get rather high. (sticks his head up, the water's still rising) Well, it's just going to be so great when we can just open the windows… and wash things… and go swimming… and… and… boy, this water really is getting high! I think I'd better… (Big Bird's ramblings are cut off by the water rising over his head now. This is where things get fun. Big Bird makes a couple leaps for the surface, trying to breathe, barely making it with a desperate "GAWP!" "GAWP!" each time. Suddenly realizing the predicament he's in, he keeps struggling and lunging for the top, his hopeless squeals muffled by the water.

(This part can go on as long as you like, with Big Bird getting increasingly frantic as he tries to reach the surface to breathe, with the occasional "GAWP!" when he does. Fish are optional but a nice touch, but I don't recommend the drowned corpses of Gordon, Maria, or the others floating by. And again, "GAWP!"

(Big Bird can go on struggling and leaping as long as necessary, his miserable squeals getting more hopeless. Just try to throw in a few "GAWPs!" now and then, and don't let him get worn out and drown, that would put a damper on things.

(After several minutes Big Bird _finally_ notices the drain next to the faucet, whether he trips over it or not, and makes a desperate effort to pull out the plug; he might need one more "GAWP!" to get it out. The water rushes down with a lot of gurgling, and Big Bird at last is able to reach the surface and starts gasping for breath.)

Big Bird: (all this while we're segueing back to regular Sesame Street with his human friends fading back in) …pant, pant, pant… Boy, maybe filling Sesame Street up with water isn't such a good idea! Even imaginary drowning isn't any fun!

Mr. Hooper: Now do you understand why we wanted you to _think_ about doing something before you just run off and do it?

Big Bird: I sure do, Mr. Looper!

Mr. Hooper: HOOP-er.

Bob: And can you see why filling Sesame Street with water might not be such a good idea?

Big Bird: I sure do! That water sure got high awful fast! I didn't even have time to learn to swim!

Gordon: And what have you learned today, Big Bird?

Big Bird: I know one thing, I better learn how to swim before I do this again!

Everyone: BIG BIRD!

Big Bird: (chuckling) Don't worry, I'm not going to turn on the water again! I've got a lot of other good ideas I want to work on! Like maybe filling Sesame Street up with ice cream! Everybody loves ice cream! (the others start to groan) Or maybe I'll go plant those peanut butter sandwich trees I was thinking about! (Mr. Hooper shakes his head) Or maybe I'll go get all those cans and work on that doorbell for Luis! (Maria throws up her hands) Or maybe I'll… (Big Bird wanders off, still talking, the others just sigh, and also go off, talking amongst themselves)


End file.
